These days I am feeling a bit like a soldier who has to be ready to go at a moments notice. I feel like I am trying to keep so many plates spinning, so that when it is time to go to the hospital none of them will come crashing down. My home will be clean, there will be meals in the fridge, I will be clean, I will have clean clothes to wear home from the hospital, my kids will have clean clothes to visit the hospital – it feels unending…and tiring. You’d think after six times, I’d have it down, but there are so many variables.
At my last appointment, my midwife was already asking if we had scheduled an induction. I’m wasn’t due for four more days. I said no and that I wasn’t in favor of doing so. I am and always have been a huge proponent of letting things happen naturally. As hard as it is to wait and as tempting as it is to have an illusion of control, I love that this is something only God knows. He already knows exactly when baby girl will make her appearance. He knows where I will be, what I’ll be doing, who will be with me, just as He did the last six times. And at the end of the journey, when we bring her home, I will see again that He is in control and my faith will be increased.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope” Psalm 130:5