Archive for the ‘Faith Stuff’ Category

Nine is Divine

It’s been 7 months since I posted our news that we were expecting again for the 7th time in Nine will be fine. It has been a time of inner reflection for me. Our family has experienced many ups and downs. In some ways the time has dragged on and on and in others, it has flown by.

Had someone asked my at the beginning of 2010  if I thought I’d be welcoming 2011 with a new Edgling, I would have laughed. Yet here I am, four days overdue, having lived with the strangest sense of deja vu for the last nine months. After seven times, it just all seems very familiar and the pregnancies began to run together.  I calculated that I have been pregnant for well over five years!

In my original post, I was struggling with adding another baby to the family. It felt like going backwards. Everyone in the house could dress and feed themselves. Gone was most of the baby paraphernalia, we were almost out of diapers altogether, leaving the house was easier. Then we drew the Go Back to Start card and rewound all of that. Back comes the stuff, the sleepless nights, the feeding, changing…

…and the snuggling and the cooing and the excitement over each milestone, the joy of watching older siblings interact with a little one.  Just like in a board game when you go back to start, you may feel like you’re starting over, but you’re also getting a chance to hit all the good spaces again.  That’s what God’s been reminding me. That this appointment was divine – it has been all the time.  It just took me a minute, or two, to see it.

So now I find myself impatiently glancing at the baby bed in the corner, wishing there was a warm little bundle already there, ready to see what this time around the board has in store.

B90 Check-in

Over at Habits for a Happy Home, I shared that I was going to start a Read the Bible in 90 Days challenge starting Jan 3rd.  Amy at Mom’s Toolbox is hosting it.

I was really excited to get started since I’ve tried reading the Bible through in a year, but never finished.

So, tomorrow is already day 10 and I am a little bit behind.  I was cruising along, until I hit a patch of feverish nesting that left me too tired to finish my reading for a couple of days. Hopefully by tomorrow night, I’ll be caught up.  I picked a terrible spot to get behind since I am in Exodus and Leviticus where God is laying out the laws and the construction of the temple in great detail.

It’s definitely shown me how easy it is to get behind, even because of things that seem worthwhile and important at the time.  Also, that the best time for me is definitely in the morning before the whole house stirs! I might be able to squeeze a couple of chapters in at night, but only if I’m not exhausted!

I am still as committed as ever. I am amazed at how quickly I am moving through the books already and what a great overall picture I am getting. Hopefully at next check in, I can report that I have delivered on my promise to catch up and on my sweet baby girl who is now 4 days late 🙂

If you’re participating, chime in and share your experience so far.

At the ready

These days I am feeling a bit like a soldier who has to be ready to go at a moments notice. I feel like I am trying to keep so many plates spinning, so that when it is time to go to the hospital none of them will come crashing down. My home will be clean, there will be meals in the fridge, I will be clean, I will have clean clothes to wear home from the hospital, my kids will have clean clothes to visit the hospital – it feels unending…and tiring.  You’d think after six times, I’d have it down, but there are so many variables.

At my last appointment, my midwife was already asking if we had scheduled an induction. I’m wasn’t due for four more days. I said no and that I wasn’t in favor of doing so.  I am and always have been a huge proponent of letting things happen naturally. As hard as it is to wait and as tempting as it is to have an illusion of control, I love that this is something only God knows. He already knows exactly when baby girl will make her appearance. He knows where I will be, what I’ll be doing, who will be with me, just as He did the last six times. And at the end of the journey, when we bring her home, I will see again that He is in control and my faith will be increased.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope” Psalm 130:5

Nine will be fine

I could have titled this seven will be heaven, since that’s how many Edglings there will be come January ~ but rhyming  fine with the total number that will be in our family sounded better right now since I am still in a wee bit of shock and heaven isn’t exactly where I’m at yet.

I’ve been here before.  This time has been a little different though.  For the last year or so, I’ve been walking the road of saying goodbye to new babies and giving birth.  No more sweet bundles or deliciously scented heads to smell.  No more watching siblings take to and love a new little one.  It was hard at first, but little by little, it got easier. I thought of all that we would be able to do without diapers, strollers and the works.  We started taking steps to make things permanent. I’ve struggled with cutting off God’s blessing in this area, but finally felt comfortable moving into a new phase, child-bearing years behind me.

We weren’t aware of any oops, until the time came and went. And denial set in, along with nausea, fatigue and congestion.  And depression.  So many plans I had for the upcoming year – some selfish, but many with my loved ones in mind – helping my senior with college plans, redoing the school room, getting away with hubby, getting in shape again.  How will I accomplish those things, along with the everyday and carry a baby? I’m not as young as I used to be 🙂 We don’t even have a vehicle big enough to carry us all!

The truth is, I don’t know.  Some of those may not happen.  Some may look different.  But I know that if anything is to be accomplished, it will be with only by the strength and through the grace of God. Because that’s the only way I’ve ever been able to do it before.  It’s His plan and He will see it through.

Bill has been great.  He and I have sort of switched places from earlier years. Now I’m the shocked one and he is the one who takes it in stride and holds me up.  The kids are happy for the most part.  They just keep rolling. The 4-year-old asked at bedtime if the baby would be here tomorrow.  I think we’ll have to make a paper chain to help her count the days.  That’s going to be one looooong chain.

Me ~ I’m adjusting.  So if you’d be so kind if you see me not to ask me if we figured out  how this happens.  Obviously we have 🙂  And I won’t ask you if you’ve figured out what makes you overweight or in debt or rude.  That sounds harsh, but if you think about it, people feel like they can ask or say whatever when you’re pregnant, that they would never dream of saying any other time. And when you’re still dealing with the revelation yourself, it’s kind of tough to answer without hauling off and smacking some people. And I am not prone to violence.

If it were up to me, right now, I would cocoon myself , not come out for nine months and then just send out baby announcements. (It would be so awesome!) That’s kind of hard to do when you’re surrounded by friends and family and already have six kids who wouldn’t take well to being locked up with you.

We have shared our news in many ways with each baby, making it special.  This time, I decided that the blanket approach would work best for me. A baby blanket if you will.  Thank you Facebook for making this possible.  Family will have to forgive me for not making personal calls.  I just can’t do it (see above).  If you’re thrilled, feel free to comment, call, send meals 😉  If you’re shocked, just sit on it for awhile and when you’re ready, when you’ve adjusted, then I’d be happy to take your call.

Just remember, there are many other things that are a lot harder to adjust to  than a sweet baby made in the image of our Creator.

I know I will.

Like a glove

I hopped in the van the other night to pick up the oldest from a friend’s and it was COLD.  I would say really cold, but any northerners reading this would laugh hysterically since it was only about 30 degrees.  Anyway, I had actually remembered to put my gloves on before I left the house.  Normally I would have retrieved them from my coat pocket when my ‘pingers’ started getting numb and it would have taken awhile for them to warm back up. Worse, the cold would have crept to the rest of my body and I would have been a chattering monkey for most of the drive. Continue reading

Forgetting what is behind…

In Philippians, Paul writes about wanting to know Christ and the power of his resurrection, becoming like him in his death in order to attain resurrection from the dead.  He admits that he hasn’t yet attained this, but that forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, he presses on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called him heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I don’t have a problem with the straining toward what’s ahead or pressing on for the prize, it’s the forgetting what’s behind where I get stuck.  Continue reading

I think I hurt myself…

I think I hurt myself last night when they announced that Kris Allen had won American Idol.  I jumped off the couch and pulled a muscle in the process.  I love me an underdog.  I have to say that I did take notice of Kris way back.  Everyone was loving Danny and Adam (both brilliant performers), but I said, ” I kind of like that guy”.  But that’s neither here nor there 🙂

Anyway, here is a video of my favorite Kris performance.  THIS is why I am thrilled that he won – aside from his obvious talent. Thanks to Michelle for sharing this on facebook.